Homesickness

I'm sure there comes many a time for everyone who have moved way from their home where the distance back gets very overwhelming. Not just for people like myself who have moved to a different country - it's not always easy to just go back to your hometown either. It's not a distance based on country borders or travel time, but about so much else. For me, however, it's the physical distance.

* * *

For most of the past week we've had my dad visiting. He wanted to be here for Boy's birthday, and he had a trip with friends planned in London the weekend after, so it all worked out well. It has been great having him here. I don't get to see him anywhere near enough, as it would simply be far too expensive to travel back and forth more often. We don't even need to do anything special, just being in his company is so comforting and familiar. When I dropped him off at the train station after 6 lovely days it was very hard to say goodbye, and I was very grateful to have my little Boy to cuddle extra hard as I walked away trying to fight the tears.

I have lived in England for 5.5 years now. It's far from the first time we've said goodbye. We've also seen each other a lot since Boy was born, so it's not just that either. This time was just a lot harder, and it brought me down in the dumps a bit. I've tried to make out why it got to me as much this time, but I haven't had much luck.

* * *

Back when we were looking for a new house and it looked like we had to move out of our current home town I also looked at houses back home. Near my family. And while just the thought of moving back was very daunting, it was also very appealing. It appealed to me purely from a very selfish point of view, as I would have my family nearby, but in the end I decided that it wouldn't have been fair. Not to my husband, who doesn't speak the language (well, he speaks some and understands a fair bit more, but not to the level I speak English). It wouldn't have been fair to my son who would go from a childhood with cousins down the road and little friends nearby to a place where we don't know anyone with children his age and no "instant friends" relatives. And it wouldn't be fair on all our friends and family here who we'd be moving away from - Boy's aunts and uncles, grandparents, godparents and so many more. It just wouldn't be fair.

In fairness, I think a move home would've taken a lot of adjustment. My family isn't very big, and I've lost contact with most my friends from school. I think it would get very lonely for a long time until we settled in. The husband would've had to find a new job in a country where he doesn't speak the language. I would've had to find a new job and get Boy into a nursery. We would've made it, I know we would, but the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

For now I will cherish every moment I get to spend with my family. When they come to visit us and when we go to visit them. I will cherish the laughter, hugs and love, and keep counting down the days until we meet again.

Image sourced from http://enthusiastblog.com/tag/homesick/

A letter to my 1 year old

1 day late as I forgot to schedule this one for yesterday.

To my dearest son,

I can't believe you're a whole year old. 12 months. 52 weeks. 365 days. A whole year has passed since I got my gorgeous little chunk of a boy placed in my arms. A whole year since I sat looking into your beautiful eyes for the first time. A whole year since I finally got the title of Mamma.

What a year it has been. We've been through some challenges, some ups and downs. Mostly ups, though. From that beautiful first smile, to the messy first taste of food, to the cheeky grin that met me the first time you pulled yourself up to stand. How has it all fit in just one year? How has a whole year passed? Have you not been with us forever?

You are a ray of sunshine, a cheeky mischief maker, a cuddle monster, and the best little boy a mummy can ask for. You rarely cry, and when you do it's usually for a reason. You always spread joy and happiness, and your giggle can brighten even the darkest of days. I am so incredibly proud to be able to call you my son. Mamma is the proudest title I could ever have.

There may have been hard times, and like all 1 year olds you have bad days. But they are few and far in between, and there is no terrible night that can't be remedied by a beaming smile in the morning. No tantrum that can't be remedied by a cuddle. No tears that can't be wiped away by your laughter.

My dearest son - thank you for making me the happiest I could be by letting me be your mummy. Thank you for humouring me with that cheeky smile when you know you're being a touch naughty. Thank you for being you.

Mamma loves you. To infinity and beyond.

Scandimum and Boy on an adventure!

Scandimum and her blog...

...hasn't really been particularly connected, has it? I promise I do want to get into things! With the husband now having several new games to play on the XBox I may be able to use the computer more = Hopefully more blogging!

I doubt I've built much of a fan base with my 6 posts (because I have a feeling a fair few of my 120 odd views are myself or my husband..) but to anyone who's reading this: I'm back!

A lot has changed in the past 6 months in the life of Scandimum. As you might expect when Boy has gone from 7 months to nearly 1. Since my last post we have accepted an offer on our flat, had an offer accepted on a new house, Boy is well and truly on the move (though luckily to me he's not too confident of letting go while walking yet), I've lost weight, the husband has lost weight (more than me, but trying not to let the green eyed monster out! Must. Start. Exercising) and, most importantly, we are mostly getting quite good nights sleep, with 1 or no wake ups most nights. Now watch me eat those last words in a few posts' time when Boy decides to start night time parties again.

So enough for a catch up. For today I will post about myself as me, rather than Boy or being a mum. For my (far too slow) weight loss journey I decided to join Slimming World. I know a few people who have had good success on it, and I figured that going to group every week to get weighed would keep me on the straight and narrow. So far it's working. It may be a lot slower than I'd like, but that's my own fault as I'm not too good at sticking to plan. And I've learnt how to cheat - a bit too much! I'm 3.5 lbs off my 2 stone award (which means I've lost 11kg which is the units I work with), and I'm chuffed. I'm finally starting to see it myself as well, and a couple of weeks ago I FINALLY fit back into my pre-pregnancy jeans. It's taken far too long, but it feels good! I want to lose another 2 stone, at least (minimum another 15kg), but I'd rather it takes longer to come off and stays off than go on a crash diet and gain it all back. I'm also trying to commit to running again, which I quite enjoy, so hopefully that'll help the weight come off. I'm determined to run a 10k next year (I have a specific one in mind as well).

I will choose to ignore the massive portion of (absolutely delicious) crumble I've just devoured.

My current weight loss. The green line represents losing 10% 

of my starting weight. The purple line is my target.